


In Sickness And In Health

by Theyna_Shipper



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: And there were only two beds because they know what they're about, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breast cancer, Cancer, Did I mention that the American Healthcare system is horrible, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Health Insurance, I did my best to research this but correct me if I'm wrong, Insurance Marriage, Mentions of terminal illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27018931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theyna_Shipper/pseuds/Theyna_Shipper
Summary: Rey knows it's not an ideal situation, but it's a situation thousands of people are in. It's not like there's much she can do about it right now, anyways. She can go a little while without health insurance.Until she gets breast cancer.The treatment will be simple if she can get it. But she's worried she can't, until her old co-worker Ben offers a solution:"We could get married."
Relationships: Background finnpoe, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 88
Kudos: 307
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for reading. I posted the idea for this fic on my other one, "Across the Lake". I hope some of y'all are popping over from there! I may write the WWII AU after this, but so many people liked this idea, I decided this one should go first. I anticipate it will be 7-10 chapters, but I want to make them longer than my past chapters. 
> 
> I've done my best to research discussions of cancer in this fic when they get specific, but if you know better than I do feel free to correct me in the comments. Some of it I've based on when a family member had cancer, but hers was very different, so I can only draw I personal experience so much. I will do my best to handle all topics with sensitivity, but if you know better, again, PLEASE correct me. 
> 
> The updates on this might be a little irregular at first, as I'd like to get a spooky one-shot out in time for Halloween. Hopefully, I can do extra writing while I recover from a foot injury, but we'll see what my brain thinks. 
> 
> Thank you, and I hope you enjoy!

“I- I understand if you want to stay for a moment,” the doctor says. “Take some time before driving, discuss your options-”

“No,” Rey whispers, her voice shaky. “No, I’m- I think I’ll go home, look at these-” she gestures to the papers they gave her- “I…”

“I understand that this is alot to deal with,” Dr. Ackbar says gently. “And we have lots of resources open to support you-”

“I’m going to go home.” She gathers up her bag and the papers. “Thank you for everything. Really.”

“Miss Kanata, please be sure to-”

Rey can’t hear, doesn’t want to hear. She needs to get out, needs to be alone, needs to process this because _no, how, why..._

“Look out!” Stumbling distractedly through the oncology department as she is, she doesn’t even see when she collides with a man. 

“Christ, sorry, sorry, I don’t-”

“Rey?!”

_”Ben?”_ After a day that’s been like three consecutive punches to the face, this is like a moose running by- it doesn’t make the situation worse, per se, but it’s unexpected. “I- hi- I didn’t expect to see- what are you-”

“My mother needs someone to drive her home from a colonoscopy. What are you- no, sorry, that’s personal you don’t need to answer-”

“No, it’s fine, I-”

What is she doing?

If there’s no one person who will stay quiet for her, it is Ben. She doesn’t know him well (or if she did, they’ve barely spoken in six months), but she knows this much about him. 

And then, before she can think any more, she blurts out, “I have breast cancer.” 

The temperature in the room might have dropped several degrees. 

“Oh.” 

“I mean, it’s not- there’s a treatment,” she explains. “I-”

“I understand,” he says, though he clearly doesn’t. “

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you,” Rey mumbles. “It’s, um good to see you-”

“Wait,” Ben says. “Do you want to, um- maybe we could go out for lunch? If you just want to talk or catch up…”

“Yeah,” Rey says, “That, um, I’ll text you?”

“Right.”

Then, before she can drag this conversation further into disaster, she walks back to her car as fast as her legs will carry her. 

The papers from the hospital range from overly simple to impossibly complicated, but between all of them make one thing clear:

She needs treatment, and unless she figures out something quickly, she won’t be able to get it. 

When she left First Order (well, when the entire company collapsed), she didn’t worry as much as she might have about losing her insurance. She was young and healthy, and had lots of time. Once her freelance work took off, she would be able to afford health insurance. 

In the meantime, it wasn’t like she was going to get cancer. 

Because people always think that _that_ \- the things you read about and hear about and see- won’t happen to them. That those are all things that will happen to someone else. 

_She_ wouldn’t be abandoned in a bar parking lot while her parents drank themselves to death inside. 

_She_ wouldn’t lose her first (and only) stable home when she was seventeen. 

_She_ wouldn’t get cancer when she was just starting her career and didn’t have health insurance. 

Except she did. 

She _did_ get cancer, and somehow her naïveté has left her completely unprepared for this. It should be enough to make her just plain break down. But, the one thing every unexpected setback has taught her, is that she can’t stop. The only way to fix it is to keep going. She won’t find anything new if she keeps looking in the same place. 

So Rey turns the key in her ignition, drives herself home from the hospital, and sits down to decipher the reading from the hospital. 

She doesn’t think of Ben again until a text crops up on her phone that night. 

_**Ben: Is this still the right number for Rey?** _

Rey types out a quick _**yes**_ and then waits for a response. Looking at the message history with Ben, she sees that the last text on that thread had been _**see you from the hearing**_. It’s a bizarre relic from something she has avoided the past six months. 

It’s made even more awkward by the fact that she never responded.

* * *

_Getting called into Snoke’s office is never good, but especially when she feels like she’s barely keeping a handle on her job. Especially when she feels like he hates her and she’s going to get fired every other day._

_”Mrs. Kanata,” Snoke begins._

_“Ms.,” she corrects sheepishly. “You wanted to see me, sir?”_

_“Your work has been- less than adequate lately. Website glitches that go unfixed, sometimes for days.”_

_“I’m sorry, sir.” She knows she’s not the only one on the website team who is failing. But this is her first job out of college, and she also can’t risk losing it, when she’s still ‘the new girl’ after over two years. “It won’t happen again, I swear.”_

_“You know I’m not fond of giving second chances.”_

_“I know,” Rey gulps. But she feels she deserves at least a little sympathy, living all the way on the other end of town, recovering from the flu, and paying off her hefty student loans. There had been one incident with a deep-seated glitch on the website, and it wasn’t even her fault. Still, it was still somehow_ her _fault for not fixing it within minutes. Somehow._

_“If this happens one more time, don’t expect to return to work,” he says coldly._

_“I understand.”_

_He nods. “You’re dismissed.”_

_Rey tiptoes out of the office and starts to head back to her workspace, but someone else decides to stop her._

_“Ms. Kanata.”_

_It is Kylo Ren, an executive at the company, who does not work in any department Rey is more than distantly connected to, but is still technically her superior._

_She stops without looking up. “Yes, sir?”_

_“My office, please.”_

_She doesn’t have the energy for this. Not today. Not her indirect superior who’s never looked at her except to correct her, not her boss who wants any excuse to fire her, none of it. But she also doesn’t have the energy to get fired._

_Kylo closes the door behind her as soon as she steps in._

_“Sir, if you don’t mind my saying, I still have quite a bit of work to do, the website is still unreliable, and unless this is urgent-”_

_Without even looking at her, he throws a file labeled_ discard _onto his desk._

_With a gleam in his eye, he asks, “How would you like to burn this place to the ground?”_

* * *

“Rey!”

Ben waves at her from across the restaurant, sitting at the same table they always sat at. This is where they started meeting after Ben decided it wasn’t safe for them to talk at work anymore. 

And judging by the raspberry iced tea sitting across the table from Ben, he still remembers what she likes. 

“Hey! It’s been forever,” she says with a smile, leaving out the part where she can’t bring herself to text him, always stopping right before she hits _send_ , once a week for six months. “How have you been?”

“Fairly good. I got a new job at an old family friend’s consulting firm. Don’t worry, it’s not nepotism,” he adds quickly. 

Rey laughs. “I didn’t say anything.”

“Still, my track record with corporate integrity-”

“-is clean,” she finishes. “I made sure of that.”

He clears his throat to break the awkward silence that follows. “How about you? Other than, um-”

Rey puts off addressing this. “My website design service is starting to take off. Freelance is a lot of work, but it’s great being your own boss.” 

“That’s great.”

“Yeah.” She swishes her tea around in the glass, the ice cubes clacking against the sides, condensation running down her fingers. Silence hovers in the air like a fog. Ben’s waiting for her to say something about it, she’s waiting to say something about it, she might as well just get it over with. “I don’t have insurance,” she says finally. “And, I don’t expect you to do anything about it, but I need someone to know, and I can’t tell Finn or Poe or Rose because they all have their own problems, and I trust you, and-” 

“It’s okay,” he says. “Really. I’m glad you told me.” 

Rey feels her stress go down several dozen notches just at the sound of his voice. “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me or anything,” she adds. “But I thought maybe you might have some advice for me, with the insurance- I know you’re good with that sort of thing.” She thinks taxes and insurance are one of those things almost no one actually understands, but knows enough about to get by on, and Ben is just one of those special individuals who actually know what he’s talking about.

“I can try,” he promises. “I’m not sure how much I can do, but I will try. Could you tell me more about your- um, situation?” 

“I barely have anything to spare, for treatment or insurance. I’m still pouring money into the company and student loans, and the rest is just enough for groceries. I feel like I’d need a miracle,” she admits. “The cancer itself is very treatable, my doctor says. But so long as I can’t get treatment-” She shakes her head. 

“American healthcare system is a massive fuck-up,” Ben mumbles. “Been saying it for years.”

“Yeah, it is,” Rey agrees. “Never realized quite how much until now.”

“I’m sure there’s solutions out there, Rey,” he says in a soothing voice. “And I will find one for you, I promise.” He bites his lip. “I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me anything. Anyone else would have done the same thing in my situation,” Rey insists. “Besides, you did nothing wrong. I just proved it.”

Ben only grunts in response. 

“Do they still have the Asian chicken salad here?” Rey asks, changing the topic.

And they agree not to talk about it for the rest of lunch, Rey’s cancer or their history, and they actually have a nice meal, avoiding any and all items that might make things uncomfortable. 

They talk about their new jobs, and Ben’s cat, and Rey’s friends (Rose with her new niece, Poe and Finn looking for a house together), and all the other things people normally talk about it. 

As Rey takes her purse and leaves, she asks herself why she hadn’t let herself connect with Ben sooner. 

She knows why, but she pushes that to the back of her mind for the time being.

* * *

She spends two days waiting to hear from Ben. Waiting to hear from her doctors, and then making herself sick with stress when she does. Waiting to wake up and find out that this was all a horrible dream, because to some degree it still feels impossible, 

When she finally hears from Ben, he calls instead of texts. She picks up on the second ring, honestly surprised to get a phone call that isn’t spam. 

“Ben?”

“Rey,” he replies. “Hi. I did some research, into insurance everything. Looked at these finances you sent me.”

“Did you find anything?” she asks hopefully. 

“Sort of. I-” His voice is shaky. “I’m not sure. It’s- something.”

At least it’s not _nothing_ , Rey thinks as her heart pounds with anticipation. “Well. What is it? What did you find?”

“Well, it’s a complicated arrangement. It would take a big commitment for the entire duration of your treatment.” She can hear how nervous he is. 

“I’m willing to listen to just about anything, Ben.” 

He waits almost a full twenty seconds before answering. 

“We could get married.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Back with another update. It's a lot of exposition and filler, but I hope to get into the meat next chapter. A lot of it doesn't really go together right now, as I'm laying out plotpoints, but I promise it will make sense! I have a plan! For now I am just acclimating the characters to the environment. Enjoy!

_Insider trading. Embezzlement. Bribery. Everything is laid out clearly for her to see in the file._

_“Holy-”_

_“I know.”_

_“This could end everyone in this building.” Rey flips furiously through the file. “Why?”_

_Kylo frowns. “What-”_

_She looks up at him. “Why would you do this? Give this to me?”_

_“That’s not important. Your friend, the investigative journalist-”_

_“How did you know that?”_

_“Same way I know all this,” he says casually._

_“Blending into the shadows with your dark clothes and silent demeanor?”_

_He ignores her. “Your friend, the investigative journalist. Can you give this to him? Discreetly?”_

_“It’s all ready to go? Just like this?”_

_“No. But once this is out, I think we’ll start bursting at the seams, and get enough to really take them down.”_

_“Mm.” Rey studies the assortment of papers, tax forms, and transcripts in the file. “It’s that simple? I give this to him, and then I just let the rest unfold?”_

_“I was hoping you could help me with ‘the rest’. An extra pair of eyes in a less assuming position would be useful. Just be careful who you tell.”_

_“OK,” Rey agrees, dropping the file into her work bag. “Quick question.”_

_He nods, inviting her to continue._

_“Why me? How do you know you can trust me?”_

_“You hate Snoke?” he offers._

_“Don’t we all?”_

_Kylo sighs. “You remember in high school, when the teacher was picking partners for a project, there was always that kid you_ really _didn’t want to get paired with, because you knew they wouldn’t do the work? And one kid you thought would be a really good partner, who’d do all the work and be easy to talk to?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“That’s why.”_

* * *

“Married.”

“Not like, _married_ married,” Ben clarifies, as if that wasn’t already obvious. “I have health insurance through work. If I get married or have kids, it gets extended to my family. Sort of like a green card marriage, except for health insurance.”

“You want me to commit insurance fraud.” It hasn’t taken Rey long to pull up the Wikipedia page on sham marriages. 

“It’s not technically illegal, federally.”

“What’s the ‘but’?” 

“It is against company policy. If anyone found out, I could get fired, so we would have to act like it was real.” 

Rey curls up on her couch. “You’d do that?”

“You need the treatment,” he says, as if the issue was that black and white. 

“We’d have to move in together, do all the paperwork, tell all our friends-”

“You can decide what you want to do, of course. But this is… an option.” _And you don’t have a lot of others._

“Can I- can I call you back?”

“Take all the time you need,” Ben promises. “Just- be careful who you tell.” 

It’s ironic, how quickly they have fallen into exactly the same pattern but in such a different circumstance. 

“Thanks,” Rey says and hangs up.  
After her search history has been clogged with _fake marriage for insurance_ and _insurance marriage_ and _how to fake a marriage_ (which turns up some interesting rom-coms that she might bookmark to watch under other circumstances) she’s come to a few conclusions:

This is, technically, doable, and dubiously legal. 

This _is_ against his company’s policy regarding insurance, adding another layer to that dubious. 

Said insurance _is_ excellent, and would cover just about everything she needed for the duration of the treatment.

There aren’t a lot of other things that would. 

She’s honest-to-goodness about to send Ben a _Yes_ , when the full weight of the situation comes crashing down on her. 

Up until now, she’s blocked out her emotions so completely, just to give her a chance to focus on solutions. She hasn’t let herself be stressed or upset or tired or sad. But now that she _is_ presented with a solution, she just feels all of them at once. 

She has cancer. _Cancer._ Shouldn’t she get to feel a little stressed, a little sorry for herself? Shouldn’t she get to take care of her own emotions for a little bit and not have to worry about money or insurance any of that. 

Rey once read that crying makes you feel better because your brain releases endorphins when you cry. When she was a kid, though, she convinced herself that crying was a weakness, that it meant giving in, and she hasn’t managed to un-teach that. 

This time, though, she lets herself cry, because it’s _not_ weakness. She deserves to cry a little, dammit, and maybe she can cry a little and worry a little and then make a decision in the morning. 

When she goes to bed, she feels a certain relief- not a light at the end of the tunnel, but a sense that the tunnel will, eventually, end. 

In the morning, she calls Ben. 

She says yes.

* * *

The first thing Ben does is make a list, a list of things they’ll need to do. 

They range from legal (add her to his insurance, his taxes, and all the other miscellania) to the personal (introduce her to his parents, get introduced to her friends, learn enough about each other to act believably married). It’s a good way to make the situation look manageable. It’s how he handled his last days at First Order, laying out everything he needed to do in a list of most to least important. 

Rey says that the first step should be meeting her friends at Friday night drinks. It will be a practice run, for them to pretend to be a real couple in an environment where everyone’s happy and slightly tipsy, a way for them to find their footing before they have to face the more challenging versions. 

“You can tell them, if you really trust them,” Ben tells her. “You shouldn’t have to lie to your friends.”

“I- I don’t want to tell them I’m sick,” Rey admits. “I don’t want them to feel sorry for me.They can’t do anything, and they don’t need that. _I_ don’t need that. I just want one thing to stay normal.” 

“What am I supposed to tell them when we get married a week after they meet me?”

“It would’ve looked bad,” suggests Rey. “During the hearings, if your biggest defender was your girlfriend.” 

_Sounds familiar,_ Ben thinks, but says nothing. 

“What about your parents?” 

He snorts. “It will only reinforce their impression that I never tell them anything. Don’t worry, it won’t surprise them.”

She purses her lips. “Ready to go?”

“As much as I ever will be.”

Rey steps out of the car and kicks the door shut (which makes him cringe slightly, though it isn’t his car), then leads him into a rather nondescript bar humming with whatever Ed Sheeran or whoever song is popular right now and friends preparing to enjoy the weekend. 

“Rey!” A group of three waves her down from a corner booth. “Sit. We weren’t sure what your boyfriend would want but we ordered for you!”

“Hi, guys,” Rey replies, sliding into the booth. “Thanks for waiting.”

“Yep!” The one other woman at the table (Rose?) chimes agreeably. “So, this is the boyfriend?”

Rey nods, while everyone else studies Ben to the point of being prying. 

“So, you’re the famous Ben?” One of the men (Poe, he thinks, and that would be his husband Finn next to him,) “You must be something special, you’re the first guy Rey’s brought in two years.”

Ben cocks an eyebrow at Rey, who mouths _Shut up_ in return. 

“Rey’s barely told us anything about you,” Finn puts in, much more cautiously. “How did you two meet?” So he will be the protective and cautious one with Rey, and the hardest to sell and their, as it were, elopement. 

“Work,” Ben grunts, the first word he’s spoken yet. 

“We left First Order at the same time,” Rey explains, glaring at his unhelpfulness. 

“So you’ve been together for…?”

Rey suddenly looks flustered, and now his blunt stoicism might actually come in handy when he lies, “Six months.”

“Six _months?_ ” Rose sputters, spitting out her drink. “You mean weeks, right? You wouldn’t wait six _months_ to tell us about him!”

Rey smoothly delivers their prepared lie. “And then we were just caught up with work and other stuff,” she finishes. “It was just… there was never a good opportunity.”

“Hm,” Finn says. 

“You _have_ been mysteriously busy lately,” Poe recalls. “Coming here late and missing texts. Secret boyfriend _would_ explain that.” 

They all accept this explanation, and fall into what their standard Friday night pattern must be, barely fazed by Ben’s presence anymore. He thinks they might actually be able to pull this off, he thinks, until next week rolls around and Rey abruptly has a (costume) ring on her finger and they announce their engagement, and there’s a whole new round of sputtering and questioning. 

“There’s a lot of benefits. You know, taxes, insurance…” Rey attempts to soothe. “I mean, if we’re ready, there’s no reason not to.” 

“If you’re ready,” Rose retorts with a frown. “Doesn’t this seem kind of quick?” 

“Hey,” Poe says casually, putting his arm around Finn. “When ya know, ya know. I, personally, am happy for you two. Welcome to the newlyweds club.”

“Their wedding won’t be for a little while yet, thought,” Finn cuts in, “Right?”

“Next weekend, at the courthouse.” 

Rose looks aghast. “You don’t want a party, or a white dress or _anything?_ I’ll at least need time to give you a bachelorette party!”

“And let us talk to your boyfriend-fianncé-husband-”

As people overwhelm Rey with objections, she seems to shrink in her seat, looking increasingly uncomfortable.

“Hey!” Ben shouts over her friends, immediately garnering silence from tables other than their own. “She doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it, neither do I. We’ll be getting dinner after the town hall ceremony and you’re all invited. OK?”

They look respectfully awed at his control, and all mutter some form of agreement.

“Thank you,” Rey whispers. 

“No problem, sweetheart,” Ben whispers back.

Rey gives him a look that says, _sweetheart_?

Ben shrugs back. It’s for show, and it will be for the next year or so. 

Right?

* * *

There’s a lot of paperwork to be done in the two weeks they have before the wedding. 

There’s the things they have to prepare, but put until the last minute until after the certificate is signed. Rey’s lease is almost up, so they agree that she should move in with him rather than the other way around. Which leads to address changing on all the other paperwork (who knew there was so much?), some of which have to be dropped off in person for god-only-knows-why. 

In other words, they spend most of their spare time at one or the others’ home, filling out paperwork and coordinating every bit of legal jargon that they have to work through. 

It’s good for them to get to know each other’s routines. 

Rey’s doctors are happy to hear that her insurance is in order, and ask if she and her husband want to talk about the commitment involved when your spouse has cancer. She politely declines, but privately she wonders: what will she do when she’s sick? Like, actually _sick_ , whether from the disease itself or the treatment. 

She prides herself on being able to take care of herself, but this is one of many things she’s not prepared for. 

Long nights of talking and paperwork and Ben making her eat and go to bed make her surprisingly grateful for one thing: that she won’t have to go through this alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please like and comment! The next update will probably be later because I want to write publish my Halloween one shot but I'm glad I got this out tonight.<3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello babes! I got distracted between the two oneshots I just put out and the election (which I am ecstatic about, hit me up in the comments if you're interested) but I've got this now. 
> 
> This chapter is quite personal for me. (You don't need to read this it's not 100% relevant). I lost my maternal grandmother to cancer about five years ago. She'd been estranged from my mother's wing of the family for some time but she reached out to reconcile. We thought we might have a couple years together, but as it turned out, we had less than a year. I'm so grateful for the time I spent with her and I've also seen firsthand how hard cancer, and even moreso the treatment, can be. Anyone's who's been through the is strong and amazing and deserves support. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading, and I hope you drop a comment.

_”Hey, you left this at my place last night, Be- Kylo,” Rey says, throwing a hoodie at him. She keeps forgetting to correct herself ever since he asked not be called by his work name._

_Ben catches it grumpily. “Kylo when we’re at work,” he reminds her._

_“What did Kylo leave at your place?” Hux asks, walking into the office without knocking._

_“Oh, um-” Rey begins to panic. He definitely isn’t supposed to be at her apartment. “He’s been helping me move into my new apartment,” she lies. “He left his sweater.”_

_Hux snorts. “Since when are you two friends?”_

_“Don’t you have work to do?” Ben says, pointedly directing him to the door._

_“I think I can-” But Ben is already pushing him out._

_“See you!” Rey says chipperly as Ben closes the door on him. Her level effort at work currently stands at just over zero._

_He tips forward and rests his head against the door for several moments before turning back to Rey. “You know what he thought, don’t you?”_

_“No,” Rey says blithely, drawing on her hand with one of Ben’s felt-tipped pens._

_“That I was staying over at your place…?”_

_“No…? _Oh._ ” She shrugs. “We should’ve let him go with it, honestly. Better cover than that you were helping me move into my apartment.”_

_Ben pointedly looks away. “Don’t you have work to do?”_

_She does, and she will, but she still shouts, “Don’t try that on me!” as she leaves._

_“Too late,” he retorts just before the door swings shut._

_He’s fairly certain he’s left two hoodies at Rey’s, but she’s only returned the one._

* * *

Rey checks her lipstick in the passenger’s side mirror as they pull into the courthouse parking lot. “Rose wants to take photos, so you might want to do something with your hair depending on whether you want her to keep the photos.”

“You don’t like my hair?” he asks, checking it in his own mirror. 

Rey giggles slightly. “Your hair is fine,” she says. “Let’s just get this over with.” 

Rose is already waiting for her outside the courthouse. “Smile!” she shrieks. 

“Ack.” Rey covers her face with a folder. “No pictures!”

“It’s your _wedding_ ,” Rose replies. “Just one for the grandkids.”

“After the ceremony?” she negotiates. 

_”Fine,”_ Rose sighs 

Rey is embarrassed to admit it, that of all the things she’s concerned about, this is one of them (even though she’s stressed about plenty more things). She hates how she looks in photos now, always so tired and sallow, already starting to lose weight. She knows it will only get worse when the treatment starts, and she really doesn’t want to have to see that in every photo. 

“We’re going to be late for our appointment,” Ben says nervously, possibly feeding off her own agitation. 

“He’s right,” Rey agrees. They aren’t, but she’ll take anything to avoid this. “It won’t be that long.” Her goal is to get in and out as quickly as possible so that she can finish filling out her healthcare forms before her first treatment. 

In these weeks before the ‘wedding’, her doctors have recommended a radiation treatment for her, and she’s just been preparing for it, preparing for whatever side effects, and to be tired all the time, no matter what. 

“Rey?” He taps her shoulder gently. “Everything alright?”

“Hm? Yeah, just spaced out for a second.” She hoists her purse over her shoulder. “Ready?”

Fortunately, the Justice of the Peace lets them get hitched without a hitch, as it were. She’d be pretty surprised if they missed anything preparing: they are as painstaking as ever. 

Now, they are doing the mandatory locking of hands as they exchange vows, avoiding eye contact in a way that Rey may later need to brush off as the blushing bride to her friends. 

“I, Ben,” he says in a deep, steady voice. “Do take thee, Rey, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, and thereto I pledge thee my faith.” He says it with rehearsed steadiness, not even having to take the Justice’s cues, and Rey realizes with a panic that she should have practiced hers too, at least more than once. 

“I, Rey,” she repeats in a much shakier voice.“Do take thee, Ben, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse.”

Suddenly, randomly, inexplicably, remembers one episode of Cheers she’d watched with her foster mother, Maz, the one where Sam and Diane are getting married so Diane can inherit her father’s estate. Particularly, the part where he says _”I don’t think any woman could stand up there and hear those words without believing them a little.”_ At the time, it struck her as sexist and stupid, but as she says the vows herself, she wonders if _anyone_ could hear them, and not believe them, at least a little. 

“For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, and thereto I pledge thee my faith,” she finishes hurriedly before these _feelings_ can go anywhere. 

“I now pronounce you man and wife,” the Justice says. “You may kiss the bride.”

Now Rey _really_ wishes she’d rehearsed. Will they look as unpracticed as they are? Like this really _is_ only their second kiss?

They both hesitate for a moment.

 _”Kiss,”_ Rose hisses. 

Rey stands on tiptoe to give Ben a kiss that’s appropriately long but politely short, and tries to focus on how dry her own lips are to prevent her from enjoying it too much. 

Finn applauds politely, and Rose throws ticker tape that she must have gotten from city hall. The Justice of the Peace smiles and hands them their certificate

And with that, Rey’s friends drag her away for a night of awkward celebrating. 

(As for Ben’s parents, apparently they’re traveling right now. He really _doesn’t_ talk to them much. He acts like it’s not a big deal, but getting married, fake or otherwise, isn’t something she thinks one should tell one’s parents through text. 

But that’s none of her business.)

Ben drives her home in silence in near total silence, but it’s not an uncomfortable silence. They both have a lot to process, first alone, _then_ together. 

“What time is your treatment on Tuesday?”

“What?”

“Tuesday. Your first treatment. I was going to drive you there and pick you up?”

Rey looks at him in surprise. “You don’t have to do that.”

“You’ll be tired,” Ben insists. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s at 9:30,” she mumbles. “Thank you.”

Ben nods as they pull into his driveway and head inside. He shows Rey around, reminding her where everything is, before going to his own bedroom and telling her to sleep well. 

_What a wedding night,_ Rey thinks as she looks around. 

It’s not that she hasn’t been to Ben’s house before- as they’ve worked together, as she’s moved in, when they worked together- but it’s never struck her before how much better off he is. He _owns_ this house- this house that’s surprisingly large for one man and certainly tasteful. She shouldn’t be surprised, she thinks, as she’s more or less living off his charity right now (though Ben tells her not to think of it like that.)

When they speak as friends or coworkers or as whatever they are at the time, she feels like they’re equals, and she doesn’t like to feel like they’re not. 

“Rey?” Ben pops in to check on her. “I just wanted to let you know we’re getting the rest of your clothes tomorrow.”

She can’t fathom why he’s doing so much for her. But a tiny, guilty part of her wants to tell her- the same part that popped out with those feelings at the ceremony- it’s _not_ charity; that it’s… well, _something._

Godammit, she’d better get over this if she’s going to carry this ruse for a year.

* * *

Rey feels she should be having something, anywhere between a kind of epiphany or a kind of personal crisis on the day of her first treatment, but she doesn’t. The day seems much the same as any other. 

She dresses up in clothes that are comfy but nice. She puts her hair up in the same three buns she has since she was a kid. 

She eats a small, plain breakfast, in case the radiation makes her nauseous. 

She double and triple checks her purse, insurance card, and ID. 

She sits in the passenger’s seat in near total silence, staring out the window, until Ben needs her parking pass for the hospital parking garage. 

“I’ll walk you inside? Just to make sure the insurance checks out?” Ben suggests. 

“Yeah, sounds good,” Rey agrees, stepping out of the car. 

And apparently the crisis has waited until now to come, because she freezes in her tracks just before she puts her foot out the door. 

Ben turns around. “Rey? Is something wrong?” 

Rey tries to say, _no,_ but the words don’t come out. 

“Do you want to… talk… about anything?” He sounds out of his comfort zone. 

Rey’s instincts tell her to say _no_ again, but she’s been bottling this up since her diagnosis, and she’s not sure she can go in without telling _someone_. 

“My foster mom died of cancer.”

He’s silent for a moment. “I-I’m sorry.”

“We’d just started the adoption process when she was diagnosed,” she continues. “I was seventeen by then, but she wanted to make sure she could still take care of me even after I turned eighteen.” Rey bats back tears- it’s been years, but it’s still hard to talk about. “They turned away her application once they found out, but she still stayed until she couldn’t anymore.”

The tests hit her hard. The diagnosis hit her harder. But stepping into the hospital is the harshest blow to an open wound. 

“I just remember coming with her for chemo, so I could read to her, or help her with her crosswords, or just… hold her hand.” She looks determinedly at the ground. “I don’t like hospitals, so this is…”

She feels Ben squeeze her shoulder gently. “Well,” he offers slowly. “I don’t know anything about your mother. But based on what you’ve told me, I think she’d be proud of you. For having the courage to do this. _All_ of this. Marriage included.”

Rey smiles slightly, a reminder that she isn’t alone in this. 

“Ready?”

“Ready,” Rey agrees, and holds his hand as they walk in. 

Her hands shake as she fills out the insurance and waits to see if it goes through, reminding herself that this is what all this hassle- the marriage, the everything- has been for. 

“Everything looks good,” the receptionist says chipperly, and she and Ben let out a silent sigh of relief together. “The doctor can see you soon.” She points to some chairs. 

“You don’t have to wait with me,” Rey tells Ben when he moves to sit with her. 

“You’ll be okay?” 

Rey nods. She feels better now, after having talked about all this. She’d rather not be alone, but she knows Ben has work soon and she won’t be able to keep him much longer without feeling a little bit guilty about it. 

“Well, ah… good luck?” 

Rey shakes her head; that doesn’t feel quite right. 

“See you soon?”

“Yeah,” Rey agrees. “See you soon.”

Ben bends down awkwardly towards her cheek, as if for a kiss, but then awkwardly bumps their cheeks together, as if he momentarily forgot they weren’t actually married before correcting myself. 

“See you soon,” he repeats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you probably noticed, I skipped a cliche "Meet the parents" here, but if you were looking forward to that, I'm not done with it, I just wanted to get on with the story for now. We're really getting into the meat of this now so I hope you enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I committed insurance fraud for _us.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than I wanted to but here we are. At least I'm back! But I'm wrapping up a D&D campaign right now and I wanted to plan a good ending for my players, and I'll be starting a new one as a player so I've become a little obsessed with drawing my character in my spare time. 
> 
> Also, the most recent episode of the Mandalorian made me too gay to function. Why did no one tell me, a lesbian, that Katee Sackhoff is in Star Wars? SMH
> 
> Anyway, my laptop is dying, so please enjoy and drop a comment!

_Ben’s office is dark and empty except for the desk on which they’re currently perched, a bottle of whiskey between them, drinking out of paper cups like the ones they make you rinse with at the dentist._

_The last of their things got moved out of the office yesterday, all but for the furniture that belongs to the company. That will be out quickly soon too. No one has bought the space yet, as far as she knows. It’ll be nice to see it lie fallow for a little bit._

_He raises his cup for a toast. “To… justice being served?”_

_Rey raised her glass. “To eating the rich.”_

_Ben grimaces. “Sure. To eating the rich.”_

_They tap their cups together and toss back their drinks. Rey lets out a long, contented sigh._

_“It’s weird that this is all going to be over after tomorrow.” She looks out the window, a hideous but somehow nostalgic view of the parking lot. “You’ll have your hearing, and that will go fine, and then we’ll just be… done.”_

_Ben nods pensively. “Do you have another job lined up?”_

_She grins. “I’m going freelance. No more bosses for me.”_

_“Was I really that bad?”_

_Rey snorts into her hand. “You weren’t even my boss,” she says, “But no. No you weren’t.” And maybe it’s the whiskey, or maybe she’s just tired, or maybe she’s just happy, but she leans over to rest her head on his shoulder, smiling slightly._

_“I’ll miss you,” Ben says suddenly._

_“What?”_

_“When we aren’t ‘working’ together anymore. I’ll miss you.”_

_She tips her head up towards him. “We don’t have to stop being friends, do we? When we leave?”_

_“Friends,” he echoes, looking down at her. “Yeah, we can still be friends.”_

_As he speaks, her eyes flicker unwillingly to his lips, and she feels his do the same, and slowly she finds herself twining her fingers in his hair as she brings their faces together, til she feels his hot breath on her skin, til there’s no space between them anymore._

_It takes him a moment to respond, his lips moving slowly against hers while she leans in. It feels good, natural, like everything they’ve done together has led up to this._

_“Sweetheart,” he whispers longingly. His arms start to wrap around her waist and pull her into his lap, soft gasps between each hungry kiss._

_It’s perfect, gentle and needy, and Rey can’t get enough, even as Ben slowly eases her out of the kiss._

_The both smile for a moment and look away, before Rey quickly pulls his lips back down to hers._

_This time, though, Ben breaks this kiss much quicker, and pushes Rey away. “I’m sorry,” he sputters._

_“What’s wrong?”_

_“This.” He shakes his head. “The hearing tomorrow- this will look bad- and we’ll both be starting over- another time, another place, maybe- but- I’m sorry, I can’t. I’d- I really wish I could, Rey. But…”_

_He pushes her off his lap gently, and walks to the door, leaving Rey alone and confused in the empty room, too stunned and hurt to follow him or even call him back._

* * *

They fall into a routine between the two of them, alternating days of cooking, cleaning, and everything else. Some days they barely see each other; sometimes they’ll be together all day. Rey has an office where she can keep working on her websites. Ben goes out to work five days a week, drives Rey to her treatment when she has one. They alternate their TV each night between what Rey calls “Ben’s chick-flick rom-com shows” and what Ben calls “Rey’s confusing sci-fi shows from ten years ago”. They both enjoy it, and both hate to admit it. 

She thinks she’s doing a fairly good job hiding any irregularities from her friends. She’s tired from the move, she explains. Sometimes she doesn’t even have to explain herself. “She probably just wishes she was home with her _husband,_ ” Rose teases one night. 

Even the treatment isn’t dragging her quite as hard as she thought it would, although it’s far from easy. The nausea is manageable as long as it’s only once every so often, and she’s been able to keep herself from losing too much more weight. Even the awkwardness with Ben has passed now that they’re accustomed to each other. For the first time since this all began, she feels secure. 

It becomes harder to pretend everything is fine when the cough shows up- a rattly chest cough that appears about two months into the treatment. She knew to expect something like this, between her doctors and her research, but it’s no less jarring. It leaves her throat raw and dry, even after raiding the pharmacy for all their cough drops. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Ben asks, popping his head into her room. “It sounds kind of bad.” 

“I’m fine,” she replies, reaching for her water bottle. “It’s just a side effect, nothing out of the ordinary.” She ignores the fact that _everything_ about this is out of the ordinary.

“Mind if I come in?”

“Go ahead,” Rey replied. She waves him over to her laptop screen. “It’s for an animal rescue, what do you think? The coding is all very simple so they could just have someone at the shelter update it with all the new photos of animals as they come and go, so I mostly just did the layout and a few of the patterns, but I think it turned out OK.”

Ben smiles. “I’d feel like a monster looking at this and not leaving with a dog; I can’t imagine working on it for days.”

“I’m drowning in guilt,” she confirms, before coughing into her sleeve again. 

“Here.” He sets a mug on her desk. “I made you some tea, it's good for your throat.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” she mumbles, lifting the tea to her face. It smells heavenly. 

“It’s not a problem,” he returns, looking down. “And it’ll soften the upcoming blow.”

Rey pauses just as the mug reaches her lips. “Excuse me?”

“My parents are back in the country,” he sighs. “And they want to meet the girl I supposedly ‘eloped’ with.”

Rey nearly and tragically loses the tea Ben gave her, stopping herself just before it falls to the floor in shock. 

“Happy Thanksgiving,” he says with a shrug.

* * *

Ben would never like to relive when he told his parents he’d gotten married, nor the flurry of explanations they’d tried to use to explain away. 

_“Is she pregnant?”_

_“Is this one of those green card marriage things?”_

And he says, no, they just got married and yes, they’ve been together for a bit and well, maybe they should just meet her, because then he can delay dealing with this for a month or two. It’s not the best strategy, but time-honored nonetheless. 

“You could just tell them the truth,” Rey suggests. “They’re your parents. I’m sure they’ll handle this responsibly.” 

“I don’t want to put them in that position,” Ben replies. “They’re good friends with the CEO where I work, and there’s no need to make them choose.”

“So you’d rather pretend to do this?” 

“It’s no different from what we usually do, is it?”

Rey sighs. “We both know it is. My friends barely see you, I don’t know anyone at your work except when they threw that awkward engagement party for us and we left after fifteen minutes and let them think we were hooking up. This is signing up for a whole weekend, _long_ weekend, with your _family._ ” 

“You don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” Ben replies. “But this is our most feasible option. 

“By which you mean approximately one per-cent feasible?”

“More or less.” 

Rey bites her lip. “What time do we leave?”

* * *

And so, Thanksgiving week comes with an awkward drive for them to share, in Ben’s car, him refusing to let her take any shifts of driving and insisting it’s because he’s picky about his car (even though she knows he’s not). 

“You’re in charge of music ,” he grunts, pointing to an AUX cable. 

Rey smirks. “You’re awfully trusting.”

“How so?”

“Clearly you’ve never been rick-rolled by someone you _trusted_ to do the road trip music and then immediately swerved your car into a bush upon hearing those hideous opening notes.”

He grimaces. “I’m not entirely certain what that means, but it sounds unpleasant.” 

Rey laughs. “Yeah. Let’s go with that. You don’t have to worry, though, I intend to spend this drive sleeping and charging energy for the coming days.” 

“Like hibernation?”

“Exactly like hibernation.” Rey buckles her seatbelt and plugs in her phone with a relaxing and unobjectionable playlist. “So, what should I be prepared for?” 

“For what, exactly?” 

“Family Thanksgiving. I’ve never been.” 

“Right, British,” he reminds himself. “Ah, I guess just… food and uncomfortable conversations? Wine and arguing?”

“Sounds charming.”

“Yes, what else could we possibly do with the holiday season but celebrate colonialism and argue with our families?” 

“How much can I get out of it by going to bed early?” 

He shrugs. “It’s worth a try.”

Rey nods, and in the comfortable silence that follows Rey drifts slowly to sleep. She doesn’t wake up until Ben has pulled into a hotel parking lot and is gently shaking her awake. 

“Rey? Sweetheart? We’re here, time to wake up.”

Rey brushes her hair out of her face groggily. “‘kay.” 

“I’ll get your bags,” Ben offers. “Just go to the front and give them my name.” 

Rey nods, takes a minute to motivate herself to sit up, before stepping out of the car and going in to get there room. 

Within twenty minutes, Rey has changed into her pajamas and tossed herself onto her bed, leaving matters of luggage to the morning. A few minutes later, she hears Ben settle onto the bed next to hers.

“I don’t think I ever thanked,” Rey realizes just as Ben reaches to turn off his light. 

“Hm?”

Rey rolls over to face him. “I said, I don’t think I ever thanked you properly.”

“Thank me for what?”

“Helping me. Marrying me. Committing insurance fraud for me.” 

“I committed insurance fraud for _us.”_

Rey laughs, which briefly sends her coughing again. Ben reaches across the shared nightstand to grab her shoulder and steady her. “Easy, sweetheart.” 

_Sweetheart._ That’s the second time he’s said it that night. She’s heard him say it before, but it’s mostly been when they’ve been around friends, and she never thought about before. Now, though, it’s just for them. The teasing lilt with which he says it is enough to brush it off most of the time, but not to ignore it. 

“Still,” she says, dismissing the thoughts, “I wanted to thank you. Really.”

“”You don’t have to, Rey.”

“You put your life on hold for a year, maybe more, for me. If there’s ever anything I can do to make it up to you-”

“Hey,” Ben says. “You didn’t put my life on hold. I’m happy to spend a year being your friend. It’s not a waste at all. I can’t imagine what I’d rather be spending it on.” He squeezes her bicep, where his hand still is, before pulling back to his own bed. “Okay.”

Rey hides a smile, looking down. “‘Night, Ben.”

“Goodnight, Rey.”

Some time after Rey has drifted off to sleep, Ben lies awake, thinking about her smile and the way she blushes when he says sweetheart, and how peaceful she looked sleeping. For a moment he could live in a world where this is just their life- living together, joking and laughing, going to Thanksgiving and dreading it but doing it anyways for some reason. That they were together because they actually wanted to, not because Rey was sick and Ben had insurance. 

He was telling the truth when he said he wasn’t putting his life on hold. 

He could never live this way with anyone but Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some fake dating/marriage Thanksgiving awkwardness! And PLEASE, save some lives and stay home for Thanksgiving. It's not too late to cancel and set an example for your family. Skip this time so no one will be missing when you get together next time <3
> 
> Thanks for reading, I'd love to hear your feedback! We'll be getting more Ben POV soon so I hope you like it!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update already? I'm feeling inspired. These next few chapters are gonna be some rapid-fire plot and fluff so I hope you enjoy. Have a good Thanksgiving and stay safe! I might use the extra time to write some one-shots, so look out of rhotse if you're interested.

_’I’m sorry.’_

_No, that’s not right._

_‘I’m sorry. I panicked. I didn’t mean to leave.’_

_But he’d left, hadn’t he?_

_‘Maybe we can talk about…’_

_But would she even want to talk to him?_

_He can’t unsee it, the look of shock and upset on her face as he pushed her away. The way her smile switched to distress so quickly when he left her._

_He can’t even think why he left, except that it all felt so_ right _that he was certain something had to be wrong. Like he couldn’t possibly deserve all this. It had absolutely nothing to do with the trial, or appearances, or any of that._

_It had everything to do with him being a fool he couldn’t handle his own feelings. And god knows she doesn’t deserve that._

* * *

Ben steps out of the shower to see Rey sleeping peacefully through her beeping alarm clock. Going over to turn it off, he gently jostles her shoulder. “Rey? Time to wake up, c’mon.”

Rey groans and bats his hand away. 

Ben sighs. “C’mon, sweetheart, you have to get up.”

He’s not oblivious to how much she’s gotten worse– eating less and sleeping more seeming to get sicker the longer she undergoes treatment. She says not to worry, that this is all to be expected. It will get worse before it gets better. Once, she joked darkly that the treatment was taking as much out of her as the cancer. 

Still, none of it is enough to stop him from worrying entirely, especially when she’ll sleep for hours into the day and remain sleepy and distracted on bad days. 

“Alright, I’m getting up,” Rey whines after another shake. “What’s the big rush?”

“For better or for worse, I want you to make a good impression on my family.” 

“For better or for worse?” she repeats. 

“Yeah, What about it?” 

“They made us say that at our wedding,” she replies. “To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, bla bla bla.”

“Well, I’m invoking that clause of the agreement,” he sighs. “And ‘worse’ includes getting out of bed,” he adds, tickling her back gently. 

Rey shrieks and rolls away from him. “I”m awake! Geez,” she laughs. 

“Then act like it, sweetheart,” he teases with a grin.

* * *

An hour later, Ben is bringing Rey to the door of his house, and thank god all they have to bring is a bottle of wine because Ben had the foresight to get them a hotel with two beds instead of letting his parents trap them in one of their guest rooms because he’s seen enough rom-coms to know better. 

“Do I knock, do I ring…”

“Go ahead and knock,” Ben mumbles, tucking his car keys into his pockets with shaky hands. 

Rey raps sharply on the door, and barely waits a few seconds for a response. The door swings open to reveal his uncle, bearded and shockingly tall (which means a lot, coming from six-foot-three Ben). 

_Welcome,_ he signs in ASL. _You must be R-E-Y. Good to meet you._

Ben realizes now that he’d forgotten to tell Rey, that Chewie is deaf, but she effortlessly signs back, _Good to meet you too. Uncle C-H-A-R-L-E-S?_

He smiles. _Please, call me C-H-E-W-I-E._

Rey laughs amicably, and Ben leads her inside. He can already tell that his family will like her, and he’s not sure if that makes things easier or harder, long-term. 

Rey steps out of her off-brand Uggs (because actual Uggs use sheepskin, not wool, she explained once when he idly asked her for opinions on what boots he should get for winter) and sets them neatly at the door. She extends a hand to Ben’s parents when they walk in, but Leia foregoes this for a hug and thus Rey’s “Thank you for having me” is muffled into her shoulder. 

“It’s so nice to meet you finally,” she says. “We couldn’t have been more surprised when Ben told us he was getting married.”

“We’re sorry we couldn’t have given you more warning,” Rey smiles. “It just all happened so quickly.”

Ben sits there rather helplessly while Rey charms his family with her easy conversation and effortless manners. Instead, he just helps her out of her coat and hangs it up in the closet while she is introduced to his father and prepared for the weekend.

They’re put through all the ordeals of _Oh, you met Ben at work, didn’t you?_ and _Where did you go to school?_ and his father’s embarrassing, _You must have been something really special to catch his eyes, we thought he’d never get married_ and they’re all doing surprisingly well, considering. 

Rey leans forward on the couch as she’s overtaken by another fit of coughs, which had only eased slightly this week. 

“Are you alright?” Leia asks with concern. “That doesn’t sound so good.”

“I’m fine,” she promises. “I think I must have picked up a cold on the way here, it’s been bothering me since last night.” 

“If you need anything, be sure to tell us,” Leia insists. 

Han nods. “Doctor Organa here will get you sorted in no time.”

Rey snaps her head to Ben. “You didn’t tell me your mother was a doctor, Ben.” 

_Shitshitshitshitshit._ “Didn’t I? I don’t remember?”

“I’m a pediatrician,” she explains. “Of course, I don’t run my own practice anymore, but I still go in to the office a few days a week.” 

“How ni-” Rey is interrupted by another cough. “I think I’m going to go get myself some water, if that’s alright?”

“I’ll show you to the kitchen,” Ben volunteers quickly after Rey shoots him a _we-have-to-talk_ look. 

“What is it?” he asks, leaning against the fridge while Rey fills a glass. 

“You didn’t think to tell me that your mother’s a _doctor?_ When we’re _trying_ to keep it under wraps that ours is a false marriage so I can have health insurance for my cancer treatment?” 

“I didn’t think of it, okay? I didn’t think it would affect anything.”

“You didn’t think your mother being a doctor while I was sick would affect anything?”

“She’s not effing Sherlock Holmes, it’s not like she could deconstruct our entire sham marriage just because you coughed once-”

“Trouble in paradise?” Leia asks, popping her head in. “It’s only Wednesday, don’t tell me you’re already fighting!”

“Of course not.” Rey tips back her water. “We were just going to volunteer to help you with the cooking; I’m sure there will be a lot.”

“Oh, we just order a dinner,” she laughs. “Everyone here is absolutely hopeless at cooking except Ben. He makes the cranberries.” 

“Speaking of which,” Ben says, seeing an out from an angry Rey and awkward day, “I need to go grocery shopping, can I trust you with Rey for a little bit?”

“I think I can take care of myself,” Rey snaps, waltzing out of the kitchen with her water. 

It’s going to be a _long_ long weekend, isn’t it?

* * *

When he returns, Rey is sitting and laughing with his family, and it all looks so happy he doesn’t want to disturb it. Instead, he slips off quietly to the kitchen and passes the rest of the day quietly helping Uncle Chewie untangle the Christmas lights. Since he was a kid, Ben’s always preferred his Uncle’s company– little obligation to talk, unless either of them wanted to, so instead there comes a comfortable silence that no one feels any need to break. He and Rey don’t even need to see each other until the drive back to the hotel at night. 

“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” Rey tells him as they pull into the parking lot. “I get it. I’m not your responsibility. It just would have been nice to know.”

“Rey,” he replies. “It’s not that I mind any of this. Any of you. It’s just… sometimes everything seems so normal that I forget that this isn’t. That we’re not just friends or roommates doing this because… I don’t know. If anything, this is my fault.” 

Rey leans against her window. “I wish this could be normal, too. But we have to remember that it isn’t, okay?”

“Okay,” Ben agrees, and he feels something unspoken pass between them as they return to their hotel room, something a little above an understanding.

* * *

The weekend is almost _fun._ It’s helped along by some things– that Ben can escape with Rey with half a pretense when they need some time to breathe, and they can get away with the flimsiest of excuses because “they’re newlyweds”, so the time they do spend with the family is at least tolerable. Uncle Luke couldn’t make it this year, either, so that's eliminated a big share of arguments. All in all, it’s probably the best time he’s ever spent with his family. 

“Maybe I should get fake-married more often,” Ben jokes to Rey. 

“Maybe,” she laughs. “Mrs. Organa, I can help with the dishes, no, really, it’s nothing, you’ve had us here all weekend, I want to help.”

The family has accepted Rey as a part, too, and he’s almost sorry that he’ll have to announce the divorce eventually. They can remain ‘friendly’, he reasons, can’t they? 

“I was surprised when I’d heard you’d gone and eloped, kid,” Han says.. “But you’ve got one hell of a girl.”

Ben nods. “She’s pretty amazing,” he says with complete sincerity. 

_You should help her with the dishes,_ Chewie signs. 

“He’s right.” It’s a system they have at home, too– Rey washes, Ben dries, and they complain about their respective days. It’s a beautiful tradition. 

“Oh,” Rey says, seeing him come in. “You didn’t have to–”

“I want to,” Ben replies, taking a towel and pulling a plate from the drying rack. “It’s no trouble.”

“Did you need to escape the table?” she teases. 

“No, I guess I just wanted to help you.” 

They wash for a couple minutes, but when Ben next looks over, tears are trickling down her face. 

“Rey? What’s wrong? Is the water too hot–”

Rey sniffles. “No, it’s fine, I’m…”

“Why are you crying, sweetheart?”

She wipes her eyes. “This could be real.”

“What?”

“If we hadn’t– if I hadn’t– if everything had gone right, back in February, this could be real by now. Me coming with you to Thanksgiving to meet your family, me and you…” She puts down the fork she was watching. “Why did you leave, Ben?”

Ben lets out a long, slow, breath. It was months before he understood himself, truth be told. 

“I was scared.” 

“Scared?”

“I was scared, that I would hurt you. That if I cared too much about you that it wouldn’t– that I didn’t know how to care about you, Rey. That you deserved better than what I could do for you.” He tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “Look how well that worked out for me.”

Rey laughs weakly, then wraps her arms around Ben’s neck. He freezes for a moment before wrapping his arms around her, holding her tightly around her thin frame. 

“Look how it worked out for us.”

* * *

Sunday, they’re packing up to leave and his family is seeing them off. Rey takes their things out to the car to give Ben a moment alone with his parents before they head out. 

“It was wonderful meeting Rey,” his mother says. 

“I’m glad you liked her.”

“How long has she been sick?”

“What?”

“I’m a doctor, Ben, I know when something’s wrong, even if I can’t tell quite what.”

“She’s been getting radiation therapy for breast cancer for a few months,” Ben admits. “But she wanted to keep it quiet.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” Leia promises. “But… how bad is it?”

“It could be a lot worse,” Ben admits. “But it could be a lot better.”

Leia smiles slightly. “A lot of people would be scared off by something like that, I’ve seen it myself. But you don’t look like you’d let anything keep you away from her.”

“I don’t think I would.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke's mysterious absence? Me not being able to write him in modern Au's to save my life, lol. 
> 
> I've noticed a lot of my fics have the same people liking and commenting on them and sometimes I'm like "do I have... fans?" and then I feel weird updating a oneshot when I'm supposed to be working on a WIP and I'm like "what if my fans see". Maybe I don't actually have fans but I appreciate your support nonetheless. 
> 
> As always, I love your feedback, and I hope to see you again soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We back! I hope y'all had a fun and safe Thanksgiving. We're still working through the last of the leftovers. 
> 
> Next chapter is gonna be an important one so it might take me a little longer to write and be happy with. I'm hoping to finish this fic before Christmas break, then I'll work on some one-shots and maybe a WWII historical AU. 
> 
> I really appreciate all your support- I'm always happy to break 100 kudos on a fic, even if that isn't all that much. Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you enjoy the latest installment.

The coldest part of winter coincides brutally with the most difficult part of Rey’s treatment. She’s been getting progressively sicker since early December, and now she can barely imagine feeling any worse. Fortunately, at least, her doctors back her up on this– if she just waits it out a little longer, the uphill portion will be over. She’s by no means ‘almost done’, but progress is progress. 

Still, that doesn’t change how miserable Rey feels right _now._ She’s not exactly a winter person, but usually considers herself reasonably resilient– she _is_ British, after all. However, it’s a lot harder now that she’s lost most of her body fat and must heap herself with blankets to stay warm. 

The one saving grace is that she knew this was coming, and has stopped taking on new projects for work. All she needs to do is finish the one’s she’d already taken, and, as Ben constantly reminds her, get rest. 

Today, the day after her most recent treatment, she’s wrapped up with a space heater and a half-a-dozen blankets. After a little while, she feels like getting up to use the bathroom and maybe make some soup or something, and so she gets up out of bed and heads to the kitchen. 

Standing in front of the fridge, though, she dreads opening it for the cold. 

“Rey?” Ben asks, walking on her standing in the kitchen, her head rested against the fridge door. “Is everything… okay?”

“Mm-hm,” Rey mumbles. “Why?”

“You’ve kind of been standing there for… five minutes.”

Had she? Is she really that tired? Lingering soreness in her chest has made it harder to sleep at night, maybe her brain is finally starting to feel the effects. 

“Maybe you should go lie down on the couch? I’ll bring you something to eat,” he suggests. 

Rey considers portesting, but instead agrees and goes to the couch, while Ben heats up their leftover soup for her. 

Ben thinks he’s getting better at not worrying when Rey tells him not to worry, but it all still amazes him. She’ll spend a day like today, right after the treatments, exhausted and dead on her feet, and then be back to work and pushing through it the next day. Human endurance (or maybe Rey’s endurance) is really something. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks, setting the soup down on the coffee table. 

“Tired. Cold,” Rey mumbles, burrowing into the couch cushions. 

“I got you some soup,” he suggests. “And Finn said he’d be coming by later with some food from that place you like.” He sighs as she remains quiet and bundled. “Are you still cold?”

She nods. “But you don’t need to turn up the heat, I don’t want to cook you.” 

Ben laughs a little at that. “It’s fine.” He reaches out to rub her back gently. “Is this better?”

She replies with a satisfied purr, that almost forces Ben to remind himself that their marriage is entirely _of convenience,_ and not to get any ideas. 

“Here.” He scoots next to her on the couch and pulls her into his lap. “How’s that?”

She nuzzles his shoulder gently, and he takes that to mean she’s happy with it. He does get hot under the blankets after a little while, but it’s not so bad, and he’s fine so long as Rey’s comfortable. 

After what could have been a few minutes or an hour, they both jolt up from a knock on the door. 

“Probably just Finn,” Rey mumbles. 

“Let yourself in, it’s unlocked,” Ben calls. “Either that, or we’re about to get murdered,” he tells Rey.

“You know how I love a surprise,” she laughs, and it’s good to hear her laughing again, tired as she is. 

Finn walks in a few moments later with a takeout bag in his hands. Ben jolts for a moment, as if he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t, when he remembers that, to everyone else, it’s perfectly normal for them, a married couple, to be cuddled on the couch together. 

“Poor Rey,” Finn sighs. “Still not feeling well, hm?” 

Rey shakes her head. 

“Flu season,” he adds. “Must’ve picked something up.”

“Must have,” Rey agrees. “How’s Poe doing?”

“Oh, he’s doing great. Still trying to convince me to get another dog, but…”

Finn and Rey sit and chat about their friends and lives and jobs for a while, and Rey eats a little. Ben feels like a third wheel, like an awkward intruder while Rey lies on top of him. They try to involve him in the conversation from time to time, but he;s happy to realize that this is just Rey’s time with her friends. 

At some point, Finn goes to put the rest of the food in the fridge, and while he’s gone Rey buries her head in the crook of Ben’s neck and drifts off.

“She’s sleeping, huh?” Finn asks when he comes back. 

“I think so,” Ben whispers. “Rey? Sweetheart? You awake?” She doesn’t respond, so Ben leaves her be. 

“I’ve got to say, I was pretty surprised when I heard that you two were– you know– getting married,” Finn admits. “I mean, of course I was surprised. I’d barely heard of you and then she had a ring on her finger. Poe and I were together for, like, two years before we even talked about getting married. I’d barely heard of you and then she had a ring on her finger.”

He points to the little gold band on Rey’s finger, and that’s when Ben suddenly realizes: she never takes it off. In or out of the house, awake or asleep. He wonders if she thinks about this as much as he is now. 

“But seeing you two now,” Finn continues. “I really get it. Rey’s too proud to ask _someone_ to take care of her, so she needed someone who just _does_ it. Someone who won’t let her be alone if she doesn’t want to.” He shrugs. “I never expected her to find someone so quickly, but you two just really _clicked.”_

“I guess,” Ben replies. Finn is probably just projecting his expectations for married couples, he thinks. But _does_ sound genuinely surprised– and Ben might be offended by this, except that he knows people don’t expect him to end up with a girl like Rey, either. 

“You do know how lucky you are to have her, right?”

“Of course,” Ben replies. “Sometimes I’m amazed she’d marry me. No, every day I’m amazed. I don’t know what this says about her taste, but… she’s definitely something else.” And this time, Ben doesn’t have to stretch the truth even a little bit. Every word of this is the simple truth about Rey. 

“You’re a good guy, don’t get me wrong. But the best person in the universe would be lucky to have Rey. I’m glad she’s with someone who recognizes that.” He stands up to leave. “Take good care of her for us, okay?”

* * *

Rey wakes up a few hours later, still in Ben’s arms on the couch. She squirms into a more comfortable position, and Ben shifts under her weight. 

“You’re up,” he realizes. 

“Yeah.” She looks around. “Did you stay out here this whole time?” 

“You looked comfortable, and you said you hadn’t been sleeping well lately, so I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“You shouldn’t have,” she grumbles. 

“It’s nothing, really,” he insists. “I finally got to do some reading I haven’t had time for, so it was nice.” 

Rey pushes herself up off the couch. “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t give me special treatment.”

“Rey, I didn’t–”

“That was the whole reason I told you, had this arrangement at all. You promised not to treat me like I was made of glass or something, just because I was sick. I figured, if I told you, I could still live my life.”

“This isn’t special treatment,” he insists. He realizes that Rey’s angry, angry at him for taking care of her. 

“Really? Would you let me sleep on top of you under normal circumstances? Stay on the couch for hours just so you wouldn’t wake me up?”

“Maybe not under ‘normal’ circumstances,” he admits. “But circumstances aren’t normal. And I’d do the same if you had, say, the flu. It’s just human decency.”

Rey shakes her head. “Human decency is what Finn did. Bring me food, keep me company, stuff like that. This…”

“... is caring about you. I did this because I care about you, Rey. Because I want you to feel safe and comfortable. And yes, I’d do it for you if you had the flu, or the plague, or you were just tired. You’re right, it’s not just human decency. And it’s not special treatment. I do it because I care about you. And if you’re not comfortable about that, I’ll stop, but I don’t want you to feel guilty about it, or any of this. I’d do all of it a hundred times over for you.”

Rey looks struck, and Ben realizes the abruptness of this speech may have been a bit much. He’s about to apologize for himself, when he hears Rey speak in a small voice. 

“... I’m not used to being vulnerable,” she admits. “I’ve always had to be strong. For myself, or for Maz, or just… I felt like I had to. It’s like a routine; I can’t break it. Finn and Rose and Poe, they’re all great, but I still don’t like to feel exposed around them.”

“Rey, if I ever make you feel _exposed_ , or uncomfortable–”

“No, I feel safe around you, Ben. But sometimes I have to remind myself that I– that I can let my guard down, I guess.” She shrugs. “Thanks for letting me sleep, I feel better now. I think I’m going to go take a bath?”

* * *

Rey enjoys a nice, long soak in the tub, letting her body relax and her mind wander. Unfortunately, her mind wanders right back to where it had just been, on the couch with Ben. 

_“I did this because I care about you… I’d do all of it a hundred times over for you… I want you to feel safe.”_

She sinks deeper into her bubbles. All the rom-coms Ben makes her watch, and all those sad love songs he sings– they must really be getting to her head. The idea that Ben could still have feelings for her after everything seems ridiculous. If he really still felt anything for her, he would have called her or texted her or _something_ during all that time. Things might be smoothed over between them, but she still has plenty to work through. 

Like, shouldn’t she be more angry with him? Maybe be a little bitter that it took him so long to explain himself? 

But no, she can’t bring herself to. The way he takes care of her makes it impossible to stay mad at him, like a puppy who’s too sweet to do any wrong. She laughs a little at the mental image– Ben _seems_ like he might be some kind of big scary wolf, but he really is a puppy. A puppy who cuddles you on the couch for hours. 

Well, he’ll certainly make a good husband to whoever’s lucky enough to marry him for real. 

_Which won’t be you,_ she reminds herself. _So just chase those thoughts away right now before they get settled._

A text from Finn lights up her phone soon after she gets out the tub. Right, she fell asleep while he was still over, she’ll have to apologize. 

**Finn: Got a chance to chat with Ben for a bit today.**

Oh no. What did he find out?

**Finn: He seems nice.**

**Finn: You’re still probably out of his league but I recognize that you would have to settle at some point.**

**Rey: You’re too kind.**

**Finn: I wouldn’t let just anyone marry my best friend. Seriously, though, you two are perfect together. I’m glad you’re so happy.**

She hesitates on how to respond to this. It’s a victory if their marriage looks real to others, right? (Ignoring their ever-impending divorce). On the other hand, she _is_ happy, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And if Ben’s happy, that makes her happy. Can’t she have one day without all these messy feelings to take care of?

**Rey: I’m really glad too.**

**Finn: G’night.**

**Finn: We will still kill Ben if he hurts you, by the way.**

**Rey: Love you too.**

**Finn: Good night.**

And if Rey is singing some of Ben’s favorite love songs to herself as she goes around the house that night, well, that’s her business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you liked it! As always, I love to hear from you. 
> 
> I've been trying to improve my writing of Finn, and on writing platonic relationships in general for these two, so your feedback on that would be especially great. 
> 
> Finally, I'm looking for recommendations for new fics to read, because I REALLY need to stop rereading Janus. Anything between 2000-10,000 words is welcome. I love baby fics, and I love modern aus, and I love fics that don't have a ton of plot and are really just cuteness or antics. If you have anything in this vein you think I'd like (even if it's a self-rec) I'd love to hear about it. 
> 
> Stay safe and stay awesome <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! I meant to update sooner but instead I got massively depressed, re-read the greater portion of my own AO3 profile, listened to Arsonist's lullaby, and made some tasty but completely inedible strawberry candy. I'm better now, just holding out 'till Christmas break. I hope you enjoy!

And finally, it seems, she’s rounded a bend. Rey starts to gain weight again. The cough doesn’t go away, but it starts to get better. She doesn’t feel tired all the time anymore. Even her friends start to notice that she’s looking better. 

Her treatments are spaced wider apart now. They can show her on her scans where the cancer is shrinking. One day she finds herself crying, actually _crying_ , because she feels like she’s finally getting her life back. 

She still has nine months, maybe a year, before she can expect to be cancer-free. That’s still another year relying on Ben’s insurance. Her business is doing better and better, but realistically, she can’t see herself being able to get off his insurance before then. But unlike at the outset of their ‘marriage’, she doesn’t dread the time spent with him, not if he doesn’t. 

Ben, meanwhile, is preoccupied with _Rey._ With the way she snuggles up next to him on the couch at night when she’s cold (which is most nights). With the way she steals his sweatshirts out of the dryer before he can even get to them. With the way his whole house smells like her now– ironically, her masculine scents of sandalwoods and musks replacing his candy-like Bath and Body Works (soap _is_ gender neutral). With the bizarre stasis they seem to occupy between friendship and… something more. 

Lately, though, she’s been on edge. She eats quickly, paces around her room, and is constantly checking her phones for a few seconds at a time. He’s tried to leave her to herself and waited to see if she would tell him, but so far she hasn’t. 

Finally, he can’t watch her worrying any longer, and he pauses _Battlestar Galactica._

“Rey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Rey says. “You can play it, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” he insists. “You won’t stop fidgeting, you keep checking your phone, and you’ve barely responded to a thing I’ve said all night. What’s wrong?” 

Rey breathes deeply. “Promise you won’t freak out.” 

“Why would I freak out?”

“Just… promise me you won’t.”

“Alright, I won’t,” he agrees, though he’s not sure that’s a promise he can keep. 

“A few days ago, I got called to the hospital to retake some scans– you were at work, I took an Uber. Someone had screwed up my scans, and they thought… well, they thought I was dying. That the cancer had spread, and–”

“But you’re not,” he interrupts quickly as his heart leaps into his throat. 

“I’m not,” she assures him. “But I only learned this today, and– it really scared me, Ben.”

Ben takes a long moment to process all this, while Rey waits for his reaction. In the end, all he can come up with is, “How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know. I mean, the same, I guess, but this… it really scared me. As bad as everything has been, it’s always gone… according to plan, so to speak. But this really messed me up, and I can’t stop thinking about, what if I _had_ been dying? What– what would I have done?” 

He wonders the same thing himself: what _would_ he do if Rey were dying? He’s infinitely grateful that he doesn’t have to now, and horrified that they even had to come close. 

“It just made me realize, there’s a lot I want to do with my life, and I don’t have forever to do it.” She looks at him earnestly and intensely as she says. “It made me want to do something special. 

“Then we’ll do something special,” Ben says. The effort he’s taking to suppress everything he’s feeling right now is… immense. “Anything you want.”

_You, Ben Solo, are certifiably a simp._

“Really?” Rey asks with a wide smile. “I guess I’ve always wanted to go to the Great Lakes, Lake Michigan or something. I’ve lived a day or two away since I moved here for school and I’ve only ever driven past.”

“We can go on a road trip,” he suggests. “Up to Lake Michigan, rent a cottage. We can tell people it’s a belated honeymoon.”

Rey agrees eagerly to this, so before long, they’re preparing for their second road trip as a ‘couple’. Everyone’s happy to hear that they’re finally taking some time together. Honestly, they’re excited too. 

Ben finds Rey reading an old piece of paper that she pulls out of her purse, skimming it and checking at while he drives. 

“What is that?”

“Oh. It’s nothing,” she mumbles. “It’s just something stupid I made a while ago.”

“I bet it’s not stupid,” he replies. “And even if it is, hey… what is life but a series of stupid things we make?”

“Hmm, remember that when you’re holding your firstborn child.” 

“Actually, I think that’s probably what my parents said the first time they held me.” 

Rey laughs, so abruptly Ben’s a little scared for a moment. “That’s a beautiful image.”

“Indeed,” he agrees. “But really, what’s the paper?”

“Oh, it’s just– something I made in college,” she explains. “I can’t even remember what the class was. Something for a humanities credit. Anyways, the professor was… weird. Thought he was in Dead Poet’s Society or something. He made us make bucket lists– you know, stuff you wanted to do before you die. This made me want to dig it out.”

“Anything you can check off?” 

“Hmm– be self-employed, yep. Get Finn a boyfriend, check. Few other little ones, too.” She turns to Ben. “What do you think, if you’d made one– a list– in college would you have gotten any of it done?” 

He shrugs. “I was a pretty directionless kid. I’ve been to Vienna and I've technically gotten married, that’s about all I had in mind.”

“You’re easy to please.” 

“Let’s go with that.” He points back to her paper. “What else is on there? Anything we can do this week?”

“Can you teach me how to make a fancy dinner?”

“Probably. Depends on your definition of fancy. There’s a lot of pastas that look pretty fancy but are actually quite simple. And meat can be intimidating, but…” He realizes he might be rambling, and sits back while Rey stares out the window, thoughtful though he’s not sure what about. 

It’s funny how well it mirrors their last trip together, Rey falling asleep before they reach their destination (they took shifts driving this time for sanity’s sake, but Rey’s dozed off in the passenger’s seat by the time they pull up to the Air B&B). 

He half-carries her inside and deposits her on the bed, and she whines softly when he leaves her, and just before he goes to his own room he kisses her softly on the forehead, and feels her smile even in the dark.

* * *

“How’s it look, Ben?” Rey points at the pasta sauce he’s showing her how to make. 

He peeks over. “Looks great.” 

They’ve been here for two days, and it has been a blissful two days. It is slowly helping her to forget all the stress she was under just a few days ago, and looking at the things on her ‘bucket list’ has made her realize how far she’s come since she was in school and had no idea how she was going to make it in life. 

Earlier that day they’d gone down to the beach, and Ben had put his feet in and sighed that it was too cold and Rey just told him that he wouldn’t last a second in the ocean. The lake wasn’t even _cool._

“Here, you can stir it slower,” he suggests, reaching for the spoon and guiding her hand. “It’s almost thick enough.” 

She leans back against his chest while he guides her stirring, smiling and comfortable. She doesn’t exactly know where or what she and Ben are, but she likes it. She’d like it _better_ if she knew, of course, but she can live with this for now. 

“I noticed there’s a farmer’s market tomorrow,” Ben suggests while they cook. “We could go there, get some fresh ingredients.”

“That sounds great,” Rey agrees. Then they transfer the sauce to the noodles, and Ben carries their plates out to the little plastic table outside, where they’ll be chewed to death by mosquitoes within seconds but it will be worth it for the sunset. 

The farmer’s market is beautiful, too– fruit and vegetables and fresh-baked bread lined up on all the tables, some flea market stands selling old crockery and crocheted shawls. Ben notices Rey running her hands along one admiringly, and while she’s off finding strawberries he buys it and slips it into one of her bags to give her later. 

“Sample this,” Rey instructs, handing him a berry. His hands are full of produce, and he bites into it right from her hands, leaving a little juice running down his chin, and she can’t help how adorable he looks, a goofy grin on his face as he tries to wipe it off. 

“Here.” Rey reaches out and dabs at his chin with her sweater, gently and inadvertently brushing her thumb against his lips, only making his goofy grin even wider and sweeter. 

“Those are perfect,” he agrees. 

Rey buys a pint of the strawberries, and once they’re truly satisfied with their produce (it’s a miracle they left without buying everything there, really), they walk them back to the cottage. Then Ben shows her another recipe to make with the veggies, and strawberries and cream for dessert, and they eat inside this time for the sake of their poor mosquito-bitten skin. 

After dinner they have to run to the pharmacy for Benadryl cream, and Ben’s cool hands feel so soothing against her back when he puts the cream on the bites that she can’t reach, and she listens to his sighs of content when she returns the favor. 

Then they sit out on the screen porch, the one safe haven other than house, until nearly midnight, when Ben kisses her delicately on the cheek and wishes her a good night, and she still feels the spot where he kissed her until she’s drifted to sleep herself.

* * *

The last day of their ‘honeymoon’ comes far too soon for either of their likings. Still, they enjoy it to the fullest, and ending it with a long walk to the end of the pier to watch the sunset (and they’ve finally been smart enough to wear bug spray, although it’s a bit too late). 

“Did you have a good time?” 

“A great time,” Rey affirms. “This is– I can’t remember the last time everything felt this perfect.” And goodness knows it’s not perfect, but it feels like it is right now. “Thank you so much.”

“I’m just happy you’re happy,” he replies. 

Rey sighs happily and leans on his shoulder. A gust of wind across the pier makes her shiver suddenly, and she pulls her sweater tighter around her. She’s still sensitive to the cold, and probably will be for a while yet. 

“Here,” Ben says when he notices, and reaches for his bag. 

“Oh, I’m fine,” Rey insists, But Ben is already pulling something out of the bag. 

“I saw you admiring this at the farmer’s market the other day,” he explains as he hands her the crocheted shawl that she’d been looking at. “So it can, um, keep you warm?” He quickly gets flustered. “I’m not very good at giving gifts.”

“It’s perfect,” she replies. “I can use it when you aren’t here to keep me warm.” 

_Then I hope you won’t use it very much,_ Ben thinks, wrapping his arm around her again. A minute or so later, he hears a rustling of paper, and looks over to see Rey looking through the list she had on their drive. 

“Check anything off?” 

Rey laughs. “Some, not much. I don’t know– I guess it doesn’t seem so important anymore.” She turns it over. “I mean, it feels kind of stupid to itemize the things you want in life I think I’d rather just have a few things that make me really happy, and let the rest sort of happen. You know what I mean?”

“I know exactly what you mean.” He hadn’t even thought of that before she said it but yes, she’s right. 

Rey sighs, and folds the lift in half, but keeps running her finger along the last item on the list– one that’s been written, then rewritten, then scratched out, then rewritten underneath. 

“What’s that one?”

“Oh, it’s– it’s nothing,” she mumbles, putting the list away. “It’s–” she stumbles for a moment, before finally deciding to just tell him. “‘Have someone tell me they love me.’ And I don’t just mean like– Finn and Rose tell me they love me all the time, and I love them back, but that’s not what I mean. I just want someone to hold me, and look me in the eyes, and tell me… that they love me.”

Ben briefly considers this before putting his hand on her cheek. He runs his thumb over her lips, like she did a few days earlier at the market. Then, slowly, carefully, he presses a kiss to her lips holding them there for a moment before pulling away. 

“I love you, Rey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... we've got a chapter count now. I expect to finish in the next two weeks. After that I'll be working on some one-shots, then I have plans to start a canonverse AU and a WWII AU at about the same time so I can switch between the two without getting bored of either one. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and as always, I'd love to hear your feedback!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! That's a wrap, folks! Thanks for sticking with this to the end. I'm glad you all liked it, and your support has meant so much to me. I hope you enjoy this fluffy epilogue on my favorite pair!

Ben wakes up with Rey curled in his arms, warm and cozy and deeply, deeply happy. 

After their kiss on the bench last night, Rey had been shocked for a moment (and Ben had been too, by his own boldness), before leaning in to kiss him again, and it’s a miracle they ever made it back to the cottage for all the kissing they were doing out there. 

And, not wanting to leave each other, they cuddled into bed together after sufficiently more kissing. He would not have wanted to take things any further with her– not while her body is still delicate, or things are still so new and fragile between them– but falling asleep next to her, just after she whispered “I love you too” in his ear… well, that was pure bliss. 

He might like to get up to use the bathroom, but Rey is so comfortable sleeping where she is that, much like the last time they fell asleep like this, he cannot bring himself to move. Instead, he studies the details of her face– every freckle, every eyelash, every perfect smile line– until he is sure he will not forget it, and then some more until she wakes up, about ten minutes after him. 

Rey rolls over to smile at him through sleep-clouded eyes, her long lashes bent slightly askew from how she was sleeping. Ben nuzzles her cheek, just to hear her giggle when his hair tickles her. 

“We should get up,” Rey mumbles after a few more minutes. “We have a long drive ahead of us.”

Ben whines softly, but knows she is right. Still, it takes a few more kisses and a little more coaxing they manage to get out of bed and have a little breakfast before they hit the road. The drive home is better, more relaxed, and gives them plenty of time to talk or not talk or whatever other road-safe things they feel like doing. 

“I’m glad we did this,” Rey tells him. “I mean… it’s certainly not the ‘special’ thing I had in mind, but I think it was better than anything I could have had in mind.”

“It was special to me,” he replies. 

Rey sighs contentedly, the feeling that everything is finally in order only stronger with Ben by her side. “I love,” she sighs contentedly. 

“I love you too.”

And, as they continue like this for the next few weeks, Ben thinks _Maybe everyone should get married before they start dating._ Since, strictly speaking, they are already all the way at the end of the line, they can take all the time to explore themselves, their relationship, and each other. 

Their friends notice too, how much happier they are now everything’s sorted. They _are_ happy. Everything seems happy, and right. Even when things are hard– and they are, often, Rey is far from completely healed– they have each other.

* * *

Rey is declared to be in complete remission eight months after their ‘honeymoon’. She won’t be cancer-free until she has been in remission for five years, but right now, the outlook is very good. 

Soon after, she realizes there’s no need for her and Ben to married anymore. By now, it’s about time she got her own insurance, and stop relying on his. But… she doesn’t have to say anything, does she? Married or divorced, she’s certain, nothing needs to change between them, not just yet. They’ve been happy like this for so long, maybe changing it would ruin it. 

And then, not a week later, she comes out to set the table to find Ben on one knee in front of her, holding out a simple ring similar to but fancier than the fake one she picked out. 

“Rey,” he says in a clear voice. “Will you marry me?”

And Rey is about to give a real answer (a yes, because what the hell else would she say?), but instead she starts laughing, because this is so _Ben_ of him, to propose when they’re already married, just because their marriage wasn’t real at first.

“Rey? Why are you laughing…?”

“I mean–” she says, gesturing vaguely. 

Ben chuckles slightly, and stands up. “I know what you mean. But really, Rey, I want to marry you, properly. I want to have a real wedding, with real photos and a cake and all the other accoutrements. I want to stand up and say I love you, in front of everyone. Do you want that, Rey?”

“Of course I want that,” she mumbles. “It’s just– I’ve thought of us as married for so long, I guess it doesn’t really mean so much too me anymore. I love you no matter what, Ben, whether I say it in front of a hundred people or only in front of you. Don’t you see that?”

“If only one person knows that I love you, then nothing else matters, so long as that person is you,” he affirms. “But don’t you think it’s at least, high time we explain it all to our friends? Now that I have anew job and, you know, not the constant threat of being fired for committing fraud?”

Rey laughs. It really is high time they explained themselves it. 

“That’ll make quite a wedding speech,” she mumbles, still laughing a little.

* * *

Well, it certainly does make quite a speech (though in the end it’s delivered in private to mitigate the complications). 

The wedding is small, and technically a vow renewal, but it has everything they need their: a cake, photos, and all their friends and families. 

As the evening is winding down, Rose walks up to them and asks for a photo, holding the same little camera she was on the day of their first wedding. She warns Ben, again, that if he hurts Rey they’ll be hell to pay, and asks for one more photo. They resist, tired and over-photographed already, but Rose insists, “One for the grandkids?” 

Well, they can’t deny that to the future grandkids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much! Be on the lookout for some one-shots from me, before I start my next multi-chapter fic (because ao3 is all my emotional support, hahaha). Thank you for reading, and please let me know what you thought! Happy Holidays!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always appreciated! The motivation speeds up updates. Love you guys <3


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